I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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