two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
