I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
