Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
