never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
