Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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