I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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