What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Small penises have feelings too.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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