I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
My dad just said "fuck circus"
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
