your thong is hanging out like whoa
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
All I want is dick and wine.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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