those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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