Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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