and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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