I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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