You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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