So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
