Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
