Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
