My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
