I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Someone signed my nipple.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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