We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
