he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
