I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You were trust falling into bushes
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize