I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
