Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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