My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
