it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
