You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
