I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
