we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
