what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
