never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
