It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
