I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
