like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
