The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I got inside last night via doggy door
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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