if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
