how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
