I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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