smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
