Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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