I think i peed on brittanys purse
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
