Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
