Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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