i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
