how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
