You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
