dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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