Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
