so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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