I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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