Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
