On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
