i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
