You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
