Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
