Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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