i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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