Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
