i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
