Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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