you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
