ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
