How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
